I’ve been struggling to blog for quite some time because I feel like I needed something to blog about. A rounded post on a topic. But then I realised that I blog for me. I don’t aim to achieve anything from this blog, it is just a place for me to splurge my thoughts and share snippets of my life with anyone who’s interested. So I can write whatever the hell I want. My posts don’t have to have a theme or a conclusion.
I don’t suppose I helped myself with the Leigh vs something naming convention. There’s been Leigh vs the Property Ladder, Leigh vs Love, Leigh vs Emotional Baggage bouncing around my head, to name but a few. And this very post could be called Leigh vs Writers block I suppose, or just Leigh vs Life.
These days I’m simultaneously really happy and completely shitty. I bought a house, which is fantastic and I’m very lucky to have been able to do so but it’s frazzling my nerves. You just don’t see all the things that are wrong with a house until it’s yours. I love my house, don’t get me wrong. I love its little low maintenance yard, big (chilly) bathroom, built in wardrobes and huge (but never huge enough for all my crap) kitchen. But I hate the leaky back door, the damp patches, the windows that need replacing and the fact that it just doesn’t get warm.
I haven’t had a dreamless night’s sleep in months and it’s really starting to take its toll. I’m exhausted all the time and really struggle to get up in the mornings. Plus the dreams are usually horrid. I have had a couple of dreams that the Manfriend breaks up with me, which would suggest that I’m worried about our relationship but in waking life I’m really not. I’ve never been more secure, we’ve talked about marriage* and children** and when I told him that our upcoming anniversary will be the first 2 year anniversary I’ve had, he told me it will also be my last.
He also gave notice on his flat yesterday and is moving in with me some time next month, which is exciting and terrifying. Mainly exciting though as I miss him when he goes home. Plus he comes with a super kingsize bed and an espresso machine. Win win.
Most of my fears seem to revolve around him getting frustrated with how messy I am and when I’m going to wax my arms without him knowing I do that. As if he can’t tell… *eyeroll at the tiny crazy person who lives in my brain*
So you can probably expect a Leigh vs Cohabiting post at some point. Maybe. I am going to try to blog more often as I think it would be good for my mental health. I’ve always thought better in pen and sometimes I just need to get things out of my brain.
* Yep. (I told him he has to marry me as he “married the last one and I’m loads better.” Fortunately he agreed.)
** Meh, maybe. But Christ, not now. Urgh.